Many of you may know me by my Youtube Channel. My name is Michele and I'm a Life & Relationship Coach and founder of The Thrivers School of Transformation.
I love my life, which is so active with helping others overcome narcissistic abuse, codependency and complex ptsd.
Being invited on a persons healing journey is such an honor and I thoroughly enjoy what I do.
However.... the road that led me here was not the easiest path to travel.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home environment and from the time I was a child, I knew that there was something not quite right. I could see other kids just…. being. At that time, I didn’t feel as if I was allowed to be – to just simply be….me. 'Me' was a 'bad' human being.
Since I felt 'bad' and was taught that there was something wrong with my authentic self - I formed an internal prison and hid that self away, instinctively stifling any slight indication of authenticity or originality, even hiding the normal neediness of a child - because I learned quickly just how dangerous that was.
My authentic self was placed in an internal prison for so many years that I seemed incapable of freeing her. To avoid the pain of that fragmentation, I busied myself with a never-ending quest of trying to prove my worth as a human being. I was certain there was some kind of secret formula, that if I just tried hard enough, if I just figured out what I kept doing that was wrong and bad – I would find it and then I could rectify and earn the love I was so thirsty for.
Well, as the years went on – things went from bad to worse and at 15 years old I attempted suicide. I still look back on that day, I was so young and yet so convinced that not being alive, not existing, would be less painful than having my existence shamed and looked down upon by those whose love I was so desperate to “gain”.
Three months after turning 16, I left home with nothing but the shirt on my back. I had nowhere to go, no money, no job so…. I went to school, and there I met a young girl whose family saved my life.
For the first time I was surrounded by people that were not narcissistic, nor borderline nor emotionally manipulative. I began to grow as a person, however because I did not understand narcissistic abuse, I did not do the inner work to heal.
As a result, narcissists were drawn to me like sharks to blood and I spent a lot of time in relationships with individuals that I feel were not emotionally healthy. What my narcissistic caregivers began…. I began to finish by subconsciously choosing to be around individuals that seemed to re-create the dynamics that I had in childhood.
There is a term in psychology called repetition compulsion which helps us to understand that if we do not heal our old wounds, we will be driven subconsciously to re-create them in an effort to heal them.
After attempting to heal my wounds erroneously, through relationships that recreated the dynamics from my childhood, eventually I simply felt erased, like a shell of a person, clinging desperately to a reality I wasn't sure was even my own anymore.
It wasn't until I hit what I felt was rock bottom, that I began an intense healing journey that would open my eyes to just how far back the emotional abuse was rooted. For the first time in my life I realized that I needed to stop focusing externally on the behavior of others and fully focus internally on my own beliefs and behaviors.
I made it my mission to connect to my true self, learning to allow myself to “be” while generating for myself true compassion, self-acceptance and love.
As alife coach, I now dedicate my life to helping victims of narcissistic abuse and/or psychological manipulation, whether it was abuse by a parent, spouse, friend, family member or co-worker, so that others too can thrive in life despite their upbringing and faulty programming. I recently created The Thrivers School of Transformation in an effort to help others transform their lives after cptsd, narcissistic abuse or codependency.