Many of you may know me by my Youtube Channel. My name is Michele and I'm a Life & Relationship Coach and founder of The Thrivers School of Transformation.
I love my life, which is so active with helping others overcome narcissistic abuse, codependency and complex ptsd.
Being invited on a persons healing journey is such an honor and I thoroughly enjoy what I do.
However.... the road that led me here was not the easiest path to travel.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home environment and from the time I was a child, I knew that there was something not quite right. I could see other kids just…. being. At that time, I didn’t feel as if I was allowed to be – to just simply be….me. 'Me' was a 'bad' human being.
Since I felt 'bad' and was taught that there was something wrong with my authentic self - I formed an internal prison and hid that self away, instinctively stifling any slight indication of authenticity or originality, even hiding the normal neediness of a child - because I learned quickly just how dangerous that was.
My authentic self was placed in an internal prison for so many years that I seemed incapable of freeing her. To avoid the pain of that fragmentation, I busied myself with a never-ending quest of trying to prove my worth as a human being. I was certain there was some kind of secret formula, that if I just tried hard enough, if I just figured out what I kept doing that was wrong and bad – I would find it and then I could rectify and earn the love I was so thirsty for.
Well, as the years went on – things went from bad to worse and at 15 years old I attempted suicide. I still look back on that day, I was so young and yet so convinced that not being alive, not existing, would be less painful than having my existence shamed and looked down upon by those whose love I was so desperate to “gain”.
Three months after turning 16, I left home with nothing but the shirt on my back. I had nowhere to go, no money, no job so…. I went to school, and there I met a young girl whose family saved my life.
For the first time I was surrounded by people that were not narcissistic, nor borderline nor emotionally manipulative. I began to grow as a person, however because I did not understand narcissistic abuse, I did not do the inner work to heal.
As a result, I found my self in and out of relationships with individuals that were not emotionally healthy. The unhealed wounds from my past continued to be reopened ad I subconsciously chose to be around individuals that seemed to re-create the dynamics that I had in childhood.
There is a term in psychology called repetition compulsion which helps us to understand that if we do not heal our old wounds, we will be driven subconsciously to re-create them in an effort to heal them.
After attempting to heal my wounds erroneously, through relationships that recreated the same dynamics, eventually I simply felt erased, like a shell of a person, clinging desperately to a reality I wasn't sure was even my own anymore.
It wasn't until I hit what I felt was rock bottom, that I began an intense healing journey that would open my eyes to just how far back the emotional trauma was rooted. For the first time in my life I realized that I needed to stop focusing externally on the behavior of others and fully focus internally on my own beliefs and behaviors.
I made it my mission to connect to my true self, learning to allow myself to “be” while generating for myself true compassion, self-acceptance and love. It was NOT easy to break out of so many unconscious behaviors and patterns... but I did!
As a life coach, I now dedicate my life to helping individuals that have undergone childhood trauma, complex ptsd and/or narcissistic abuse so that they too can thrive in life despite their upbringing and faulty subconscious programming. I recently created The Thrivers School of Transformation in an effort to help others transform their lives after cptsd, narcissistic abuse or codependency.
If you feel as if you've learned all there is to learn, and if you feel that you have truly shifted immensely, yet still feel STUCK or as if the trauma is still in your body - you may want to look into how bio energetics can help you to get your mind and body on the same page.
I've learned first hand that in order to heal narcissistic abuse and/or cptsd, a combination of both cognitive and somatic modalities is most effective. In the Thrivers School of Transformation we have live meetings to learn about personal growth after emotional trauma, and we also have live meetings that offer somatic modalities such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Breathwork Sessions.