Time Doesn't Heal Trauma Wounds From Narcissistic AbuseMar 22, 2021
We are always taught that time heals all wounds. If you watch my videos you know that I recognize that time heals many wounds but it does NOT heal trauma wounds.
In my last video on YouTube entitled 5 Reasons You're STILL Angry After Narcissistic Relationships I compare emotional wounds to physical wounds.
There are some physical wounds that time does heal .... a black and blue, a fat lip, etc. For those wounds, nothing needs to be done except to allow time to pass and do its job.
But then there are other physical wounds like... broken bones. These wounds need more than time - at least if they want to heal properly. Often times the bones need to be reset and then put in a cast so as to keep immobile as time does its thing.
If time alone passes without doing anything else ... the bone will set and yes, you may have function of the limb but it will be limited as the bone will not set correctly on its own. (This very thing happened to me. As an infant my arm was broken, without receiving medical attention it healed improperly and while my arm functions, I can't bend it certain ways due to it never being set properly.)
What does that have to do with emotional trauma?
There are emotional wounds that are easily healed with time. For example, a broken heart by an unexpected break up will heal with time. But emotional trauma due to psychological abuse where your very being is attacked and deemed as 'bad' or 'worthless', where your self image is dictated to you by a toxic individual, where your free will is stolen because someone else forces you to feel like you are not allowed to feel your feelings, your not allowed to think your thoughts or have your perceptions and you are not allowed to be your authentic self - well, this creates a core wound that absolutely needs more than time to heal.
And while left alone, it's true you can begin to do certain things again, feel certain ways again - but without being reset - your brain has re-wired due to the trauma making it impossible to function optimally.
Without the trauma being 'reset' it will always limit your life experience by way of causing anxiety and/or depression, fight or flight reactions, feeling unsafe, unable to trust yourself or feel connected to self, social anxiety, shame, etc.
I sat back for years waiting for time to do its thing. Year after year wondering when these symptoms would go away. It wasn't until I finally realized they would not go away without my help and my taking action that I finally began to heal!!
The lesson: don't sit back and wait for time to heal the trauma. Leaving toxic people is not the final destination, it is merely the first step toward re-gaining your inner self!!!
If you are ready to begin transforming your life after narcissistic abuse - the Thrivers School of Transformation is a monthly membership made up of people all over the world that are on that same journey!! We all have to travel down the healing journey, but we don't have to do it alone!